Noir – Richmond – 24 January 2019 – Lunch

Parmesan gnocchi, green vegetables, black truffle and hazelnut pesto

Noir is a restaurant that I have been to occasionally, and have always had a good experience. Knowing that, and noticing the lunch specials on my regular walks along Swan Street in Richmond, I was intrigued. How can a restaurant of this calibre charge so little for lunch?

The express lunch includes dishes for around $18 to $20, and there is an option to add some starters and petit fours, plus a glass of wine for $40! Catherine and I had to eventually try it and we are glad we did. After three nice shared entrees of oysters with lemony champagne granita, gruyere cheese beignets, and puffs filled with pate, we were on to our main.

Gruyere cheese beignets, spinach and black olive; oysters with champagne granita; chicken liver pate profiteroles

Catherine chose the parmesan gnocchi with green vegetables and a black truffle and hazelnut pesto. The gnocchi has a firm but giving texture, combining beautifully with the peas, broadbeans and zucchini; moistened with the black truffle infused sauce. My fish and chips was great too. Homemade tartare with a good lift from extra capers, and nicely cooked snapper, made for an enjoyable lunch.

Port Phillip Bay snapper fish and chips, tartare sauce

Both the Chapoutier grenache blanc, and the Bella Ridge chenin blanc, were wines I hadn’t seen on other restaurant lists, but would happily order again. The chenin blanc from the Swan Valley in particular was surprisingly well made, and I can see why it appears on the list.

Chocolate gateau, creme brûlée tart, cream puffs

The petit fours provided as a light dessert, consisted of a chocolate ganache cake, creme brulee tart, and cream puff with white chocolate. Whilst it was some confusion with the service that led us to the three course option, given the good value and our satisfied appetites, it was a good option. We are assuming that our waitperson misinterpreted our clear instructions, but we do have some doubts so best to be even clearer!

Noir has only ever impressed me. It is almost unassuming; in a location near the corner of Swan and Church that is better known for the local pubs and cheaper eats. What has kept it open and successful for several years in this competitive environment is Noir’s consistent high quality.

Noir Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

Hanoi Hannah – New Quarter – Richmond – Numerous Occasions

Fish wings

At times service is a factor only when it is exceptional or terrible. It is not absurd for it just not to be noticed, like children in the 50s. Service should be seen and not heard!

There are times where it can blow your mind. Times where you want to return because that compliment you received had to be genuine, or the charm of the maître’d was irresistible. Then there are the stories that you must tell even if it is focussing a touch too much on the negative, like when you witness a terrible car accident.

Lemongrass beef salad

I’ll tell you about the car accident soon but first let’s look at the positives. Hanoi Hannah’s New Quarter in Richmond is irresistible like the figurative maitre’d I mentioned just moments ago. It is literally the old and the new for both HH and this building which retains its character, but is completely redeveloped on the corner of Lennox and Swan. The positioning is a real estate agent’s dream. Location, Location, Location!

There are staff who have spent an hour getting ready to try to make it look like they didn’t try. The artistic maps sprawled across the wall of Richmond are a delight to behold while slurping your noodles. The windows look out to the restrained Richmond grunge turned fashionable, with more than a splattering of footy colours to add to the atmosphere. I love it.

Poached chicken pho

I’ve been multiple times; for lunch and for dinner; quiet weekdays and busy after-footy weekends. When I first tried the beef shortrib pho I thought it was indulgent, but difficult to navigate. The latter won out and it was taken off the menu but it lives in my memory. Catherine’s smoked chicken pho was not quite as decadent but definitely made for a repeat offender.

Beef short rib pho

The lemongrass beef salad is terrific too. All the learnings from Windsor, which again is a restaurant I’ve frequented, are clearly transported to Richmond. Elements you take for granted are expertly combined. Somehow every time I enjoy a salad with the multitude of herbs, vinegary sauce, and vegetables, that Vietnam and surrounds are famous for, I forget how well you feel after lunch (and how much you enjoy the flavours).

Peking duck rice paper rolls

Dining with a few friends and sharing is a great idea too. Because on this other occasion I got to try the caramelised pork hock in rice paper. And it was a good moment. So were the duck rice paper rolls; the chock-full-of-prawns spring rolls; and the spicy lamb curry. In fact, there hasn’t been a dish that has come out of the kitchen (which includes an offshoot that does takeaway lunch that we’ve also taken advantage of – pork belly bahn mi with crackling for $10!) that has not been good to very good.

Caramelised pork hock with rice paper

The service is fine on the whole, but definitely has that touch of “we work in a really popular place so aren’t we great” vibe. So when we were basically asked to order dessert on the spot or leave I took some serious exception to it.

Chicken and pork belly bahn mi

It is not a long story. We ordered a second bottle of wine and had finished half of it (ie, we were going to be here for at least 20 minutes longer). We got asked whether we wanted dessert and said “we would take a look”. The menu was provided immediately and the waitperson said “would you like dessert”. I said “we have a half bottle of wine so we can look at dessert and decide while we finish it”. She said “there are two desserts so you can choose now, or I can bring you the bill”.

I know the staff are under pressure to turn tables over. It is a busy night. But there are ways you do not treat anyone. Either my directness at the last comment was noticed, or sense prevailed, and our waitperson apologised reasonably sincerely (and quite profusely) but the damage was done. I said straight up to her that “I have never been asked to leave a restaurant like this before”.

There is never any excuse for making someone feel threatened and bullied. We spent $249 over a period of about 90 minutes including 2 bottles of wine. Anyone who reads my reviews knows that we ordered dessert (and the doughnuts were pretty good). We were not given a sitting time to begin with and we were walk-ins as Catherine expertly got us a table before the footy finished. I really can’t stand the way we were treated at a restaurant I supported 4 times in its first 6 weeks. Not again. Well maybe a bahn mi at the takeaway bit or a cheeky pho!

Hanoi Hannah New Quarter Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato